Wendy Knuth Author of Moore Zombies, blogging about the human experience.

Tag Archives: #taxes

Hey Zombies – Suckage Time – Your Taxes Are Due!!!

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Oh my Gombie, how I hate taxes!!!  The old bald guy and I own a small personal business which means that we have to pay self employment taxes.  That means we get the privilege of paying taxes twice.

For all of you working zombies out there that roll your eyes in disgust at the chunk that went missing from your paycheck – we all know that really sucks.  But I’ll tell you something that sucks even more.  Imagine taking out your checkbook and writing a check to the government every three months.  That really, really sucks.

If you have a “normal” job, your employer pays for your social security (ouch for them), and then the government also sucks your paycheck dry for your portion of social security (ouch for you.)  That is double suckage.  When you own a small business you have to pay twice, once for yourself as a business owner, and once for yourself as an employee – basically double ouch.

Okay fine.  The rules are the rules.  So, we have to hire an accountant to figure out how much suckage we have to pay to the government.  We have no clue what said accountant is doing except that we end up with literally a book full of pages, forms, subforms and schedules as evidence that the job has been done.  At the end of it all we are grateful and give our thanks to the government for making us pay hundreds of dollars to figure out how many thousands of dollars we owe.

So here’s my thinking.  The accountant payment is a kind of a tax.  Why don’t we propose new legislation?  Any fees paid to accountants should be a direct deduction from the amount owed to the feds.  Not only could we stand up to the feds and punish them for making us go through this yearly anguish, but it also provides an incentive for them to make it less complicated.  The public will love it, and the accountants will love it.  It might even create some new loopholes – and isn’t that what taxes are all about?  That’s my two cents, folks.

Write your representatives in Congress and buy a zombie book.

Wendy Knuth, author of Moore Zombies picture books and chapter books – MooreZombies.com